Tuesday, May 15, 2007
I'm a bastard
Sometimes I really dun understand of myself, what I’ve done? A word really can mean a lot of things although sometimes you have no intention to mean it that way, it really brings a lot of meaning. My confidence level is going down & lower, I really getting more pressured about the things I’m going to say, how I react, but each time after every mistake that I’ve done……then only I realize that brings a lot of meanings behind it…..then only I start to analyze back the things I did….why like this…why I’m like this? Am I really as bad as a real failure? A failure that really can’t recover? Maybe yes, because you’ve already did it, you cant turn back….you can’t be shitting half way…the blady shit is already out half way…u try to force it back to your damn ass…..I’m just as anyone else…trying my best way to improve myself…..my attitude…my habits…..every single little thing…..but seems like it doesn’t prove anything……although sometimes I give an opinion, sometimes accepted…sometimes will be rejected….but majority is been rejected. I don’t want to lost….I try not to feel depressed……but what should I do? Am I really as stupid and brainless? Sigh….just feel really sad now….dunno what should I do…….
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