Just came back from some 'yum cha' sessions with my buddies, we chat alot about working life...what is happening in all their company..politics is the main thing, ALOT! Then I start to compare myself with them, why I can't be as active as them in working life. What is the problem with me? I always kept asking myself and kept blaming myself for all the mistakes. In the office, people all see me as 'not a serious' person...always like to joke around. But actually everything is just a fake, I was like forcing myself to do something that I don't actually know what the heck I'm doing. I really had a blurred future, don't know what is ahead of me...everything is just like a daily routine or responsible for that particular task. I'm still forcing myself really hard and always tell people don't become someone you are not and try to force yourself into someone that you are not. But actually, me myself is doing it. I don't think I can act natural for it, this is life...everyone had to face the reality!